When Therapy Doesn’t Feel Right: Managing Negative Feelings

When Therapy Doesn’t Feel Right: Managing Negative Feelings Toward Your Mental Health Provider

Introduction

Finding yourself dreading therapy sessions or harboring negative feelings toward your licensed clinical social worker can be a confusing and uncomfortable experience. After all, therapy is meant to be a space of healing and growth. Yet many clients find themselves in situations where they feel disconnected, misunderstood, or even hostile toward the very professional they’ve entrusted with their mental health journey.

There are numerous reasons why you might develop negative feelings toward your therapist. Understanding these reasons and knowing how to address them can help ensure you still receive the quality mental health support you need. With the significant expansion of telehealth services in recent years, finding the right match has become more accessible than ever. This article explores why you might feel negatively toward your licensed clinical social worker and what steps you can take to ensure your mental health needs are properly addressed.

Understanding Your Emotional Response to Therapy

Experiencing negative feelings toward your therapist can be uncomfortable, but these reactions often contain valuable information. Here are several potential sources of these feelings and strategies for addressing them.

When You Feel Disrespected

Feeling disrespected by a professional you’ve trusted with your mental wellbeing can be particularly painful. Signs of disrespect from a licensed clinical social worker might include:

• Consistently interrupting you during sessions
• Appearing distracted or disengaged while you’re speaking
• Making judgmental comments about your experiences
• Dismissing or invalidating your lived experiences
• Sharing your information with others without proper consent
• Failing to accommodate disabilities or specific needs
• Repeatedly pushing past boundaries you’ve clearly established
• Pressuring you to engage in therapeutic techniques you’ve expressed discomfort with
• Taking adversarial positions rather than maintaining professional neutrality
• Showing favoritism toward other people in your life during family or couples sessions

If you’re experiencing disrespect from your therapist, your feelings of frustration or anger are completely valid. The first step is often directly addressing these concerns with your provider. If the disrespectful behavior continues despite your feedback, it may be time to consider finding a different licensed clinical social worker who can offer the respectful care you deserve.

In a helping profession like therapy, disrespect can be particularly harmful to your progress and wellbeing. Addressing these issues promptly helps protect your boundaries and ensures your therapy remains focused on your mental health goals.

When Personalities or Approaches Don’t Align

Licensed clinical social workers, like all professionals, have unique personalities, communication styles, and therapeutic approaches. Sometimes, despite everyone’s best intentions, these elements simply don’t match with what works best for you.

For instance, if you prefer a more directive approach with concrete suggestions and homework assignments, you might feel frustrated with a therapist who primarily uses reflective listening techniques. Similarly, if you value a warm, conversational style, a more formal therapeutic approach might feel cold or clinical to you.

Research consistently shows that the quality of the relationship between client and therapist is one of the strongest predictors of successful outcomes in therapy. When this connection is missing, therapy can feel unproductive or even counterproductive.

If you suspect a mismatch is causing your negative feelings, consider having an open conversation with your therapist about your preferences. Many licensed clinical social workers can adapt their approach to better meet your needs. If adjustment isn’t possible, ReachLink can help connect you with a provider whose style and methods better align with your preferences.

When Mental Health Symptoms Affect Your Perception

Sometimes negative feelings toward your therapist may be influenced by symptoms of the very conditions you’re seeking help for. Conditions like depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, or personality disorders can affect how you perceive and interpret interactions with others, including your therapist.

For example, depression might lead you to interpret neutral feedback as criticism, while trauma-related conditions might cause you to feel unsafe even in secure therapeutic relationships. Some clients discover that their negative feelings aren’t really about the therapist at all, but rather emerge when discussing particularly difficult or painful topics.

If you suspect your mental health condition might be influencing your feelings toward your therapist, try to observe these patterns with curiosity rather than judgment. Discussing these observations with your therapist can actually deepen the therapeutic work and help you gain insights into how your condition affects your relationships more broadly.

When Psychological Projection Occurs

We all bring our past relationship experiences into new relationships, including the therapeutic relationship. Sometimes, a phenomenon called “transference” occurs, where feelings, expectations, or patterns from past relationships get projected onto your therapist.

For example, if your therapist reminds you of a critical parent, you might find yourself anticipating criticism even when none exists. Or if you’ve had experiences with authority figures who abused their power, you might feel suspicious of your therapist’s intentions despite their professional conduct.

Transference isn’t a sign of failure—in fact, when recognized and explored, it can lead to profound therapeutic insights. If you notice yourself reacting to your therapist in ways that feel familiar from other relationships in your life, consider bringing this observation to your sessions. Many licensed clinical social workers are trained to work with transference productively.

When the Therapeutic Approach Isn’t Working for You

There are hundreds of different therapeutic approaches, from cognitive-behavioral therapy to narrative therapy to solution-focused brief therapy. Different approaches work better for different conditions and different individuals.

If you’re feeling frustrated with your therapy, it might be that the particular approach your licensed clinical social worker is using isn’t the best fit for your specific needs or learning style. For instance, if you’re dealing with trauma, you might find that approaches specifically designed for trauma processing are more effective than general talk therapy.

ReachLink’s licensed clinical social workers are trained in various evidence-based therapeutic modalities. If your current approach isn’t working, discuss this with your therapist. They may be able to adjust their methods or help you find a provider who specializes in an approach better suited to your needs.

When Ethical Boundaries Are Crossed

Though rare, there are situations where negative feelings toward a therapist stem from genuine ethical concerns. Licensed clinical social workers are bound by the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) Code of Ethics, which establishes clear professional boundaries and responsibilities.

Ethical violations might include:

• Breaching confidentiality without legal justification
• Developing dual relationships (social, business, etc.) outside the therapeutic context
• Failing to maintain appropriate professional boundaries
• Imposing personal values or beliefs on clients
• Practicing outside their scope of competence
• Not providing proper referrals when needed
• Continuing to charge for missed appointments without clear policies
• Not reporting situations where mandated reporting is required by law

If you believe your therapist has violated ethical standards, your feelings of anger or betrayal are justified. In these situations, it’s appropriate to end the therapeutic relationship and consider reporting the violation to the relevant licensing board.

Finding the Right Path Forward

If you’ve experienced difficulties with a therapist and are hesitant about continuing therapy, know that alternatives exist that might better meet your needs.

How Telehealth Therapy Can Expand Your Options

One major advantage of telehealth therapy is that it broadens your access to a diverse range of licensed clinical social workers beyond your immediate geographic area. This increased accessibility makes it easier to find a therapist whose style, approach, and personality align with your unique needs, providing a better chance at forming a meaningful therapeutic connection.

Telehealth also offers flexibility in scheduling, the comfort of receiving care from your own space, and privacy that may feel safer for those who find in-person visits intimidating or inconvenient. These factors can contribute to reducing the barriers that sometimes lead to frustration or negative feelings toward therapy.

Conclusion

Negative feelings toward your licensed clinical social worker are not uncommon and can stem from a variety of understandable causes—from mismatched therapeutic styles and personal dynamics to impacts of your mental health symptoms or ethical concerns. Recognizing and addressing these feelings openly is crucial to maintaining the integrity of your therapeutic journey and ensuring your needs are met with respect and professionalism.

Remember, the therapeutic relationship is a collaborative partnership, and your comfort and trust are foundational to its success. Whether that means having candid conversations with your current provider, exploring different therapeutic approaches, or seeking a new therapist through resources like ReachLink, prioritizing your wellbeing is paramount.

Your mental health deserves a safe, supportive environment where you feel valued and understood. Don’t hesitate to advocate for yourself and find the care that truly works for you.