Empathy involves understanding and sharing others' experiences through three distinct types (affective, cognitive, and somatic) and can be actively strengthened through evidence-based strategies like engaging with diverse narratives, seeking unfamiliar environments, and professional therapeutic guidance.
Ever wonder if you're connecting deeply enough with the people who matter most? Empathy isn't just something you're born with - it's a skill you can actively strengthen, and here's exactly how to build it.

In this Article
Understanding Empathy: Definition, Types, And How To Develop It
The capacity to understand and share the experiences of others forms one of the most essential foundations of human connection. Yet empathy doesn’t manifest equally in everyone, and many people wonder whether this ability can be strengthened over time. This article explores what empathy truly means, how it differs from related concepts, and practical approaches for cultivating greater empathetic capacity in your daily life.
Defining empathy and distinguishing it from sympathy
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, empathy is “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner”. Essentially, empathy represents your ability to imagine yourself in someone else’s position and understand their emotional experience in a given circumstance. This capacity influences how you make decisions, interact with others, and build meaningful relationships. Empathy also serves as a cornerstone of emotional intelligence.
How sympathy differs from empathy
Though people often use these terms interchangeably, sympathy and empathy describe distinct experiences. Sympathy typically involves sharing someone’s emotional state—actually feeling their pain alongside them. Empathy, by contrast, involves understanding or imagining how someone else feels without necessarily experiencing that emotion yourself at the same moment.
Consider this distinction: sympathy means feeling sadness alongside a grieving friend, while empathy means comprehending the depth of their loss even if you’re not currently experiencing grief yourself. While the boundaries between these concepts can blur in practice, empathy generally refers to the understanding and perspective-taking that strengthens social bonds and interpersonal functioning.
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Three distinct categories of empathy
Though we often discuss empathy as a single concept, research from 2018 identifies three separate forms, each with unique characteristics and applications.
Affective empathy: The emotional dimension
Affective empathy describes your ability to recognize and emotionally respond to others’ experiences. This feelings-based capacity allows you to identify suffering in another person and feel moved to provide comfort or assistance. However, because affective empathy operates primarily through emotion, it can sometimes lead to compassion fatigue or disproportionate emotional investment over extended periods.
For example, affective empathy might manifest when you feel genuine concern for a colleague struggling with workplace stress and offer them support. You understand their distress because you’re mentally placing yourself in their circumstances. In some cases, a phenomenon called “emotional contagion” or “emotional empathy” may occur, where you actually begin experiencing similar emotions to those the other person feels.
Cognitive empathy: The intellectual dimension
While all forms of empathy stem from concern for others’ wellbeing, cognitive empathy operates more through reasoning than feeling. It represents your ability to understand someone’s situation intellectually without necessarily feeling their emotional pain. This creates healthy boundaries that allow you to maintain your own identity and realistically assess what support you can offer. Cognitive empathy proves particularly valuable for professionals in helping fields, enabling them to provide consistent care without emotional exhaustion or feeling overwhelmed by others’ suffering.
Consider cognitive empathy at work when you understand why a family member enjoys an activity that doesn’t appeal to you personally. Or when you comprehend the motivations behind a fictional character’s questionable decisions, even while disagreeing with their choices. Cognitive empathy centers on understanding others’ perspectives without requiring personal identification with their experiences.
Somatic empathy: The physical dimension
Research defines somatic empathy as “responding to pain and sorrow in others by physically experiencing the same pain through proximity to them”—a phenomenon enabled by mirror neurons in the brain. This physical response can prompt action to address the witnessed suffering. As researchers note, “The somatic response can be the kindling that starts the fire of empathy” when it motivates helpful behavior.
Though less common than other forms, somatic empathy appears in recognizable situations. Some twins report physical sensations when their sibling experiences injury, and partners sometimes describe physical discomfort during their spouse’s medical procedures or childbirth.
Developing greater empathetic capacity
Natural empathy levels vary considerably among individuals. Research indicates that genetics account for approximately 10% of this variation. The remaining 90% likely stems from factors including hormones, social conditioning, and life experiences that researchers continue investigating. Importantly, people can actively increase their capacity for empathy, even when starting from lower baseline levels. Studies suggest that simply believing empathy can be developed actually enhances your ability to feel it. Beyond adopting this growth-oriented perspective, several practical strategies can strengthen your empathetic abilities.
Engage with diverse narratives
Reading fiction, watching theater, or consuming other narrative media exposes you to characters facing challenges outside your personal experience. This exposure can expand your empathetic capacity significantly. According to 2018 research, engaging with fictional stories exercises our “social cognitive abilities” and strengthens perspective-taking skills that transfer to real-world interactions.
Seek unfamiliar environments
Spending time with people whose backgrounds differ from yours and visiting unfamiliar places can substantially increase empathy. This might involve consuming media created by diverse voices or participating in cultural experiences different from your own. Approaching these situations with careful attention helps you absorb others’ perspectives and respond to their experiences with understanding—an ability that then extends to other contexts.
Recognize common ground
Another effective approach involves focusing on what you share with others, including those with whom you disagree or feel disconnected. Finding commonality with a coworker through shared hometown roots or similarly-aged children can help you see past personality differences or conflicting workplace opinions. Participating in activities with shared goals also builds connection. A 2008 study found that simply working toward common objectives on a team increases cooperation and positive feelings among members through developing group identity.
Maintain curiosity and openness
Perhaps most fundamentally, remaining genuinely open to learning about people and their experiences powerfully enhances empathetic ability. Judging others simply for their differences undermines this development. Instead, approaching others with curiosity, asking thoughtful questions, and maintaining an open mind makes you far more likely to discover shared humanity with people who initially seem quite different from you.
How therapy supports empathy development
Working with a mental health professional offers another avenue for strengthening empathy. A licensed clinical social worker can provide fresh perspectives on how you typically approach new people and situations. If past trauma has led you to suppress emotions generally, therapy can help you process those experiences and become more emotionally available to others. If your thinking patterns contain cognitive distortions—perhaps connected to conditions like depression or anxiety—a therapist can help you recognize and reshape those patterns. Therapy provides a safe, nonjudgmental environment for openly exploring any challenges affecting your ability to connect with others.
For those who prefer receiving professional support from home, telehealth therapy offers an accessible alternative. ReachLink connects clients with licensed clinical social workers through secure video sessions, allowing you to work on developing empathy and addressing related concerns from wherever you feel most comfortable. Research from 2021 found that patients perceived their therapists as “significantly more empathetic and supportive in the remote setting.” This finding matters because earlier research established that “client empathetic perception measures” predict positive treatment outcomes. Working with an empathetic therapist may help you develop your own capacity for empathy even as you address other mental health concerns.
Moving forward with empathy
Empathy enables us to build meaningful connections and care for one another effectively. Whether your natural empathetic capacity is high or low, the strategies outlined here can help you strengthen this essential human ability. Through intentional practice—consuming diverse stories, seeking new experiences, identifying commonalities, maintaining openness, and potentially working with a mental health professional—you can develop greater understanding of others’ experiences and build stronger, more compassionate relationships.
Cultivating empathy represents ongoing work rather than a destination. As you practice these approaches, you’ll likely notice gradual shifts in how you perceive others, respond to their experiences, and navigate complex social situations. This development benefits not only your relationships but also your own emotional intelligence and overall wellbeing.
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional.
FAQ
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How can therapy help someone develop empathy skills?
Therapy provides structured approaches to building empathy through evidence-based techniques. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps identify thought patterns that may block empathetic responses, while Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches specific skills for emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness. Therapists can guide you through perspective-taking exercises, role-playing scenarios, and mindfulness practices that strengthen your ability to understand and connect with others' experiences.
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What are the signs that low empathy might be affecting my relationships?
Common signs include frequent misunderstandings with loved ones, difficulty recognizing when others are upset, feeling disconnected during emotional conversations, or receiving feedback that you seem insensitive or self-centered. You might also notice that people don't open up to you emotionally, or that conflicts escalate quickly because others feel unheard or invalidated. These patterns often indicate that developing empathy skills could significantly improve your relationships.
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Can empathy be learned and improved in adulthood?
Yes, empathy is absolutely learnable at any age. Research shows that the brain remains capable of developing new neural pathways throughout life, including those related to empathy and emotional intelligence. Through consistent practice and therapeutic guidance, adults can strengthen their empathetic abilities by learning to actively listen, practice emotional awareness, and develop better perspective-taking skills. The key is approaching empathy development as a skill that requires practice, just like learning any other ability.
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What therapeutic approaches are most effective for building empathy?
Several therapeutic approaches effectively build empathy skills. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps individuals understand emotional responses and improve emotional connection. Group therapy provides real-time practice with empathy through interaction with peers. Family therapy or couples therapy offers opportunities to practice empathy with loved ones in a safe, guided environment. Additionally, mindfulness-based therapies help develop the self-awareness necessary for recognizing and responding to others' emotions appropriately.
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When should someone consider therapy for empathy-related relationship issues?
Consider therapy when relationship problems persist despite your efforts to improve, when friends or family consistently express feeling misunderstood by you, or when you find yourself struggling to connect emotionally with others. Professional support is particularly valuable if empathy challenges are affecting multiple relationships, causing significant distress, or if you're unsure how to begin developing these skills. Licensed therapists can provide personalized strategies and create a supportive environment for practicing new empathetic behaviors.
