Helping Kids Manage Stress: Causes and Solutions

Managing Kids’ Stress: Understanding Causes and Solutions

Stress doesn’t discriminate by age. Parents experience their own pressures, and similarly, children face stress in their daily interactions at school and home. Children absorb the tension in their environment, and their reactions are sometimes misunderstood as simply “acting out.”

Many factors can trigger behavioral changes and indicate elevated stress levels in a child. Young children often lack the vocabulary or understanding to explain to parents or caregivers that they’re feeling stressed. Instead, this stress might manifest as irritability, sleep disturbances, bed wetting, clinginess, unexplained crying, changes in eating patterns, or disinterest in previously enjoyed activities.

Though they may not fully comprehend the situations they encounter, children can be significantly affected by recurring illness, family difficulties, divorce, or losing a loved one or pet. They often struggle to understand why someone or something they cherish is suddenly absent. If a parent or caregiver frequently experiences stress, children are likely to absorb that emotional tension.

Young children are still developing emotional management skills. While experiencing occasional unpleasant emotions is normal and helps them learn about feelings and expression, sometimes these experiences become overwhelming, and they may need additional support through difficult circumstances.

Helping young children manage stress

A child’s early years substantially influence their future worldview, emotional responses, behaviors, and coping mechanisms. This critical period of emotional development requires love, support, and the healthiest possible environment. However, circumstances beyond a caregiver’s control sometimes arise.

When young children become overwhelmed by stress, these techniques can help:

• Breathing exercises: Teach simple breathing practices to help slow their heart rate
• Hydration breaks: Encourage taking a moment to drink water, which both hydrates and creates a calming pause
• Humor: Young children respond well to laughter and play—making silly faces, performing a funny dance, using a stuffed animal to “talk” in a comical voice, or playing a fun game can distract them from their worries

School-age children face many of the same stressors as younger children, along with new challenges as they grow and begin formal education. The transition from home to school can be jarring for children accustomed to their home environment.

At school, they encounter peers from diverse backgrounds and family structures. They also experience academic pressure, homework responsibilities, and physical fatigue from the school day. While some children thrive socially, others may feel anxious away from their parents and familiar home setting.

When school-age children experience significant stress, it might emerge as anger, irritability, school avoidance, headaches, or persistent stomach discomfort. They might speak negatively about themselves, complaining that nobody likes them or they aren’t smart enough to succeed academically. Some may withdraw from family and established friendships. Negative hyperactivity—including tantrums, acting out, or aggressive behavior—may also signal stress in this age group.

Strategies for school-age children

Calming and distraction techniques remain effective for this age group. Breathing exercises continue to be valuable for emotional regulation. Children at this stage can also benefit from using their imagination for relaxation:

• Guide them through visualizing a happy place—real or imagined—where they feel secure
• Encourage them to enhance the visualization with comforting details like being with a loved one, friend, or pet
• Introduce age-appropriate guided meditation videos or apps designed to reduce stress

An advantage of these techniques is that children can learn to use them independently, benefiting them even when away from home.

Older children have more options for self-distraction and redirecting attention from stressors. Rather than relying solely on parental intervention, they can watch entertaining movies, play games, or visit the park. Physical activity can effectively reduce stress levels—even a brief walk can help regulate emotions and improve mood. Arranging time with established friends can also boost their spirits.

Understanding pre-teen and teen stress

The pre-teen and teenage years present unique challenges for both children and parents. Several factors contribute to stress during this developmental stage:

Hormonal changes

The significant influx of growth hormones during puberty can cause mood fluctuations, irritability, and behavioral changes. Physical development may be viewed positively as a sign of “growing up,” but can also create self-consciousness about body image.

Developing earlier or later than peers can lead to uncomfortable social situations. Hormonal changes may also trigger complicated emotions as teens experience romantic feelings without the maturity to navigate them effectively.

Relationship challenges

Dating and romantic relationships can cause heartache and feelings of rejection or exclusion during adolescence. These experiences can impact friendships and self-esteem in potentially stressful ways.

Social pressures

Bullying becomes a significant concern in this age group. Appearance and social connections often determine popularity during the teen years, and those who don’t benefit from conventional attractiveness or social status may experience lasting effects from verbal, emotional, or physical bullying.

Emotional regulation difficulties

Hormonal fluctuations can trigger mood swings as the brain and body adjust to changing estrogen and testosterone levels. Puberty frequently disrupts circadian rhythms, affecting sleep quality and duration.

Sleep disruption can impair focus and academic performance, with resulting exhaustion exacerbating mood instability. Since the adolescent brain is still developing, teens may struggle with emotional regulation and stress management.

Mental health vulnerabilities

Depression, anxiety, impulsivity, and other mental health challenges often become more prominent during adolescence compared to younger age groups. Stress may manifest through changes in eating habits, activity disinterest, low energy, mood swings, concentration difficulties, anxiety symptoms, or physical complaints like headaches and stomach problems.

Supporting teenagers through stress

Pre-teens and teenagers have access to a wider range of positive distractions than younger children. They can engage with books, video games, friends, movies, sports, and other hobbies or activities.

For additional information about childhood and teen stress—including causes, warning signs, coping mechanisms, and parenting support—professional mental health services can be valuable. Connecting with a mental health professional benefits children in this age group by providing someone to discuss stressors with, especially when they feel too embarrassed or hesitant to share with parents.

Many parents juggle busy schedules filled with work, family, and other responsibilities. Online therapy offers a convenient solution for both parents and children, eliminating commute time and allowing for flexible scheduling from home. Research indicates promising results for remote mental health treatment, with one meta-analysis suggesting comparable outcomes between online and in-person therapy across various populations and conditions.

For children between 13 and 19, specialized mental health professionals can provide age-appropriate support. If you or your child are struggling with stress, reaching out for professional guidance can make a significant difference.

Final thoughts

Stress affects individuals across all age groups. If you’re concerned your child might be experiencing stress, consulting with a mental health professional can help determine appropriate next steps. A therapist can also help you address your own stress, potentially reducing stress transfer to your child.

When you’re ready for professional support, most telehealth providers can connect you with a licensed clinical social worker within 48 hours. Sessions are available through messaging, voice, and video calls to accommodate your schedule.