Overcoming Self-Sabotage: Barriers to Mental Well-being

Self-sabotage creates common barriers to mental well-being through fear of change, self-doubt, unworthiness beliefs, and comparison to others, but licensed clinical social workers help individuals identify and overcome these self-limiting patterns through evidence-based therapeutic interventions.

Ever feel like you're your own worst enemy when it comes to happiness? Self-sabotage is more common than you think — discover the hidden barriers you might be creating and learn practical strategies to finally get out of your own way.

Why You Might Be Blocking Your Own Path to Well-being

Although many people desire to cultivate more well-being in their lives, we sometimes place barriers of our own making in the way of our happiness. While it may seem counterintuitive, there are many reasons why we may resist cultivating positive mental health. In this post, we’ll examine some of the most common ways we can self-sabotage our own well-being and what we can do to change those habits.

Common Barriers to Cultivating Well-being

Not Knowing Where to Start

Many of us may not know what we need to do to improve our mental health, despite being convinced that there is a “right” way to make it happen. We may overload ourselves with content from self-help books, podcasts, and bloggers who claim to know the secret to finding happiness. While exploring different perspectives on well-being is not a bad thing in itself, it’s important to approach this journey with caution — you won’t likely experience improved mental health by solely relying on other people’s definitions of wellness.

Consider the possibility that the only person who truly knows what enhances your well-being is you. If you are honest with yourself about what you need, you can work with your licensed clinical social worker to devise a plan to make it reality. Remember, lasting well-being will not hinge on reaching a one-time goal, such as losing weight, meeting your soulmate, or getting a raise. Positive emotions come and go like all other emotions. We may experience well-being more frequently by cultivating a mindset of gratitude and being appreciative of the daily moments that lift our mood.

Fear of the Unknown

Some people may resist creating a healthier mental state out of the fear that doing so will require making changes to their current lives. And change is often scary. Not knowing how we or our circumstances might evolve is often deterrent enough to keep us from seeking positive changes in the first place. Even if we are unhappy with our current situation, our minds recognize this baseline as normal. You may have to embrace the uncertainty of change as a trade-off for potential greater well-being.

Self-Doubt and Hesitation

Another self-imposed barrier can arise when we tell ourselves that we lack the traits it takes to build a fulfilling life. We may engage in a cycle of negative self-talk, telling ourselves that we are not brave, smart, or strong enough to make the necessary changes in our lives. This internal dialogue can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if it prevents us from even attempting to make positive changes. At its worst, self-doubt may lead us to believe that we must accept a less-than-fulfilling quality of life rather than work to improve it.

Believing You Don’t Deserve Better

Some people hold beliefs, subconsciously or consciously, that reject the idea that they deserve well-being. These beliefs can stem from a sense of obligation to put others first, feelings of shame or guilt, or low self-worth. Enjoying mental wellness sometimes requires making yourself a priority, forgiving yourself for past events, and reminding yourself of the reasons why you are worthy of feeling happy.

Perceiving It as Overwhelming

If increasing your mental well-being requires change, it may take hard work to make those changes. It requires effort, for example, to replace negative self-talk with compassionate self-talk. It may take even more work to improve our external circumstances. Making these changes may seem so overwhelming that we may choose instead to adapt to our current circumstances, even if they are not ideal. Cultivating well-being is often a process that requires a lot of “doing,” including potentially making choices outside of your comfort zone and taking concrete steps to change habits.

Fixating on Future Achievements

The belief that well-being requires reaching an end goal is an example of a happiness trap: a limiting belief about mental wellness. Western culture tends to reinforce this limiting belief through some of its most common story narratives. A character living a ho-hum life finds happiness when they meet “the One” and fall in love. An athlete endures grueling training for years and finally celebrates a single moment of triumph in the last scene. Stories like these reinforce the mindset that associates well-being with some end goal or achievement.

How Comparing Ourselves to Others Undermines Well-being

Many of us resist cultivating mental wellness because we constantly compare ourselves to others. When we measure our happiness against someone else’s success or achievements, it becomes easy to feel inadequate or unworthy, preventing us from pursuing our path to well-being.

Working towards a goal isn’t necessarily a problem until we convince ourselves that we cannot experience well-being until we achieve it. Under this mentality, we may view ourselves as a “work in progress” who will not find true wellness until a later date. But there may be no single moment in which we transform from struggling to thriving. Well-being is a state we can choose to cultivate every day, in part by appreciating what we already have.

Pursuing Someone Else’s Definition of Well-being

Sometimes the version of happiness we are striving to emulate is not of our own definition. We may fall victim to the belief that having a bigger house, faster car, or better job leads to greater well-being. It may be difficult to accept that what enhances our unique mental health may not necessarily line up with other people’s expectations.

Part of creating a healthier mental state is finding how to live your truth. If you feel unhappy as you pursue a goal that promises greater wellness, you may benefit from reflecting on whether that goal is truly your own, or whether you are pursuing someone else’s idea of well-being.

When Mental Health Conditions Create Additional Barriers

Many of us unintentionally create self-imposed barriers to well-being. Sometimes, however, struggling to feel mentally healthy can stem from mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. A common symptom of depression, for example, is the inability to enjoy the activities that once brought you pleasure. Depression can also cause physical fatigue and a sense of apathy, which can diminish one’s ability to feel concern for their well-being.

The Benefits of Telehealth Therapy for Cultivating Well-being

If you believe that you are struggling to achieve mental wellness, you may benefit from seeking support from a licensed clinical social worker through telehealth therapy. A therapist may help you explore any self-limiting beliefs or behaviors you may have that are holding you back from thriving. Telehealth therapy has been found to be effective at treating mental health issues that may interfere with our ability to experience well-being. For example, a 2019 study published in the National Library of Medicine surveyed participants using online therapy. After three months of therapy, the subjects reported a significant decrease in depression symptom severity.

ReachLink’s telehealth platform can connect you with a licensed clinical social worker who can provide guidance tailored to your unique situation. One common misconception about therapy is that it should be reserved for people in crisis. However, therapy can be beneficial for anyone seeking guidance about how to live a happier, healthier life.

Takeaway

Developing our capacity for experiencing well-being usually begins with self-exploration. Many of us hold self-limiting beliefs about our worthiness or capability for feeling mentally healthy. We may pursue external goals because of inherited ideas about what constitutes wellness, such as the idea that achieving certain goals will make us suddenly happier. By exploring these self-limiting beliefs, we can begin to understand what truly enhances our well-being. If you are seeking more guidance about cultivating a healthier mindset, ReachLink’s telehealth therapy services can provide an accessible way to begin a conversation with a licensed clinical social worker.