Breaking the Therapy Honeymoon Cycle

Are You Hooked on the “Therapy Honeymoon”?

Have you noticed that you’re enthusiastic about starting therapy, but your motivation fades after the first few sessions? During those initial meetings, when you’re sharing your story and your therapist is getting to know you, the process can feel energizing and full of possibility. Yet, once you move beyond introductions and into the deeper work, you might find your interest waning. Why does this pattern keep occurring, and how can you maintain commitment to therapy beyond the honeymoon phase?

There are compelling psychological and neurobiological reasons why the beginning of the therapeutic journey can be so captivating. For some individuals, this pattern may be reinforced by factors like resistance to vulnerability or anxiety about change. To move beyond the “therapy honeymoon” and experience the full benefits of consistent mental healthcare, you may need to discover new ways to fulfill the emotional needs driving your repeated pursuit of new therapeutic relationships. Working with a licensed mental health professional through ReachLink’s telehealth platform can help you address the root causes of this challenge.

Why the therapy honeymoon can be difficult to sustain

When a therapeutic relationship is fresh and possibilities seem endless, engaging in the process might feel like the most important priority in your life. Once you’ve established rapport with your therapist and begin confronting difficult emotions or behaviors, you may find yourself creating excuses to cancel sessions or considering a switch to a different provider.

Does this pattern sound familiar? Though it might seem contradictory, it’s actually quite common. Here are several potential explanations.

New therapeutic relationships often trigger dopamine responses

Neurological research has revealed that beginning new relationships, including therapeutic ones, can affect the brain similarly to addictive substances. The search for healing and connection is strongly tied to human survival instincts. This generally activates dopamine-based brain circuits that influence pleasure-seeking, habit formation, and goal-directed behavior.

When you begin therapy with someone new, it’s common to become highly engaged in the process, feeling hopeful and energized. You might even experience a sense of relief or euphoria that many mental health professionals recognize as the “honeymoon phase” of therapy.

This initial intensity naturally diminishes over time, signaling a transition into deeper therapeutic work. However, some people may become attached to the “high” of beginning therapy and resist moving into more challenging phases.

Attempting to maintain that initial emotional intensity can lead someone to seek out new therapists repeatedly. Some psychologists consider this pattern a form of “therapy shopping” that prevents meaningful progress.

Ambiguity can be more comfortable than clarity

The early stages of therapy often involve sharing your story while the therapist forms impressions and considers approaches. Studies suggest this period of uncertainty can actually increase engagement, likely because humans are motivated to resolve ambiguity.

Continuing therapy, however, often brings clarity about difficult patterns and necessary changes. For those drawn to the safety of unanswered questions, this clarity may feel threatening rather than helpful.

Initial sessions may temporarily boost self-esteem

Some individuals may begin therapy partly to validate their experiences and boost their sense of self-worth. People with fragile self-esteem often desire validation from authority figures—including mental health professionals.

The process of being heard and understood by a new therapist might temporarily alleviate doubts about whether your struggles are legitimate or worthy of attention. This feeling can fade as therapy progresses into challenging established patterns, potentially leading to discomfort that can strain the therapeutic relationship.

If this discomfort isn’t adequately addressed, you may terminate therapy prematurely. Then, you might seek out someone new to recapture that initial validation, starting the cycle over again.

Popular ideas about therapy can distort your expectations

Media and cultural depictions of therapy can sometimes create obstacles to sustained therapeutic work. They often portray breakthrough moments or rapid transformations, with less emphasis on the gradual, sometimes frustrating process of real change.

The reality of effective therapy—which frequently involves discomfort, vulnerability, and consistent effort—may seem disappointing in comparison. If you’ve internalized the idea that therapy should produce immediate insights or relief, you may interpret normal therapeutic challenges as signs that your therapist isn’t effective.

Cultural attitudes can further complicate matters. Some communities view seeking help as a sign of weakness, while others promote the idea that therapy should be a quick fix rather than an ongoing process of growth.

Some people may not be ready for consistent therapy

It’s also possible that external pressures are responsible for your belief that you should commit to long-term therapy. Certain individuals may simply benefit more from intermittent check-ins or crisis intervention. Others may not be at a stage of change where ongoing therapy is beneficial due to their current readiness for change or because other priorities take precedence.

If you repeatedly find yourself disengaging when therapy moves beyond the introductory phase, you may want to honestly assess whether consistent therapy aligns with your current needs and readiness.

How to move beyond the therapy honeymoon

Assuming you do want to experience the benefits of sustained therapeutic work, how can you break out of the cycle described above?

Commit to a specific timeframe

If the therapy honeymoon phenomenon is similar to an addiction pattern, setting clear boundaries may be an effective strategy for breaking the cycle. Deliberately committing to a specific number of sessions (perhaps 8-12) before making any decisions about continuing or ending therapy can give you time to work through the honeymoon phase and experience deeper therapeutic benefits.

Consider discussing this tendency with your therapist upfront, asking them to help hold you accountable to your commitment, especially when discomfort arises.

Reflect on your therapeutic goals

Researchers have found evidence that people often have a bias toward novelty that may lead us to overlook the value of established relationships. The initial excitement of new therapy can cloud judgment about what you’re really seeking from the process.

During your commitment period, it can be helpful to regularly revisit your therapeutic goals. Creating a written list of what you hope to achieve through therapy may help you focus on long-term outcomes rather than temporary comfort or discomfort.

It can also be valuable to consider what matters most to you in areas of life beyond therapy. Clarifying your core values can reinforce your self-direction in a process experts call self-affirmation. This may help you remain committed to therapy for intrinsic reasons rather than external validation.

Reconsider your ideas about therapeutic progress

Unhelpful notions about what therapy is and isn’t may feed into your attachment to the honeymoon phase.

Try journaling about your expectations of therapy and notice what emerges. You might discover your behavior is influenced by misconceptions such as:

• “Effective therapy should feel good most of the time.”
• “If I found the right therapist, I wouldn’t feel resistance to the process.”
• “A good therapist will have all the answers for me.”

In reality, therapy is often a collaborative process rather than a straightforward path. Resistance and discomfort can be signs of progress as you confront deeply held beliefs and patterns. Accepting that therapy may sometimes feel challenging allows you to stay engaged and open to change.

Remember, the goal is not to chase the initial excitement but to build enduring skills, insights, and emotional resilience. By acknowledging and working through these common pitfalls, you empower yourself to move beyond the “therapy honeymoon” and experience meaningful, lasting growth.

If you find yourself caught in this cycle, consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional through platforms like ReachLink, where you can explore tailored support designed to help you sustain therapeutic commitment and achieve your goals.