12 Signs You’re Truly in Love: A Relationship Guide

Are You Truly in Love? Recognizing the Signs in Your Relationship

The journey of falling in love is both beautiful and complex. It’s an experience many of us desire, yet struggle to define clearly. This uncertainty often prevents us from embracing love wholeheartedly. When we describe loving someone, we typically focus on feelings and emotions without establishing concrete definitions. Because love manifests differently for each person, its “symptoms” can be confused with other emotional states like lust or obsession.

Many people find themselves wondering, “Do I really have genuine feelings for this person?” Particularly in our younger years, understanding love often involves trial and error. If you’re seeking clarity about your romantic feelings, this guide may help.

Understanding Different Forms of Love

Love exists in multiple forms. Some common types include:

• Unconditional love
• Romantic love
• Friendship love
• Familial love
• Playful love
• Enduring love
• Self-love

It’s entirely possible to experience several types of love for one person. For instance, you might have begun as friends with your current partner, and despite developing romantic attraction, you may continue feeling friendship alongside romance.

This article focuses primarily on romantic partnerships. People across different sexualities and identities experience and express romantic love in varied ways, all of which are valid and meaningful.

Romantic connections and emotional bonds can be difficult to interpret, especially during the early phases of getting to know someone. Investing time with the person, engaging in open communication, and potentially consulting with a relationship therapist can provide valuable insights.

The Nature of Romantic Love

According to research published in “Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love,” this phenomenon “is of immense interest to the general public as well as to scholars in several disciplines. It is known to be present in almost all human societies and has been studied from a number of perspectives.”

Neuroimaging studies referenced in this research implicate numerous brain regions in the experience of love in romantic relationships.

Since love evolves over time, different brain regions may activate during the early stages of a relationship compared to long-term partnerships.

Similarly, relationship experts and current research indicate that younger adults may experience love differently than older individuals. This can influence perspectives on love, its impact on well-being, and the overall experience.

Romantic love defies simple quantification through research. It represents an intangible force that transcends physical reality and enters the emotional realm. Sometimes it manifests as an unspoken connection binding people together, while other times partners frequently discuss their feelings for each other, making it a highly individualized experience.

Examining the Details: Signs You’re in Love

Reflecting on your relationship history with your partner can reveal key indicators of a loving relationship. From small gestures to conversations about your future together, analyzing your romantic connection is the most effective way to find the answers you seek.

Let’s explore some questions to help identify telltale signs that you love someone.

Relationship Timeline

Love typically develops gradually with a partner. When we meet someone and feel an immediate connection, that’s often lust or infatuation rather than love. In states of lust, we don’t know the person well but experience strong physical and/or emotional cravings. This intense reaction floods our system with various chemicals similar to addiction and activates comparable brain regions. If your relationship is relatively new, you’re more likely experiencing lust rather than love.

One reason you might question your feelings is if the relationship has lasted a significant time. While duration can indicate love, time alone doesn’t guarantee love if the feelings remain uncertain. Many people experience a sudden realization of love with their partner—it simply “happens” in a moment. If you’re debating whether you love your partner, you might not be there yet, though you could be approaching that point.

Emotional Connection

When you love someone, being with them resembles spending time with your best friend or life partner. The relationship feels natural and comfortable, without pressure to “perform” or behave differently. Both you and your partner can authentically be yourselves while feeling comfortable and complete.

You generally maintain consistent feelings about them whether they’re relaxing in sweatpants or dressed elegantly for an evening out. True love typically involves wanting your partner to participate in every aspect of your life.

If this person is someone you admire from a distance rather than actively spending time with, you’re likely not in love with them—what you’re feeling is strong attraction or infatuation.

Love often brings a sense of peace. In mutual love, you may feel secure in your affections, knowing your partner reciprocates. The exception is unrequited love, where your feelings aren’t returned. This situation can be particularly challenging because while your emotions may be genuine and intense, the relationship cannot flourish without reciprocation.

Those experiencing unrequited love often undergo similar grief stages as someone going through a breakup. They may experience comparable emotions, thought patterns, and feelings as someone whose actual relationship has ended.

When you love someone, you miss them intensely during separations. You might think about them constantly and frequently mention them in conversation. Practicing self-compassion can help manage these feelings, though they may persist.

In love, your connection with that person is powerful, largely linked to dopamine/oxytocin reactions in your brain during their presence. When apart, these chemical levels decrease, prompting your brain to create ways to interact again and restore those levels. While you may “miss” someone you care about, being in love feels more powerful—like a constant thought lingering in your mind.

Appreciating the Small Things

When in love, you can identify countless small things your partner does that you appreciate. In contrast, when experiencing lust (because you don’t know them well), most observations tend to be physical or superficial. For example, someone in lust might comment on their love interest’s attractive appearance, while someone in love might acknowledge their partner’s appearance but also express appreciation for how their partner cares for them or accepts their quirks despite occasional annoyances.

People in love spend substantial quality time together, even if that means video chatting during long-distance separations. They can share details about their partner’s personal life because they’re genuinely interested in their life, not just their image or apparent “fun” personality.

Behaviors and Love Languages

According to relationship expert Gary Chapman, five “languages” can indicate love. People generally spend quality time together, engage in frequent physical touch, perform acts to make their partner happy, exchange small gifts, and offer compliments. Some partners might demonstrate all these behaviors, though most people tend to have one or two primary love languages. For example, when in love, you might show affection through physical closeness, while your partner expresses love by performing acts of service like preparing meals. In lust, some of these behaviors may occur but typically not consistently or comprehensively as they would in a loving partnership.

Distinguishing between love and infatuation can be challenging. While you may think about someone constantly, infatuation typically involves limited knowledge of the person. You may have only met them a few times, or even if seeing them regularly, your relationship might not have progressed beyond casual conversation, despite possible physical intimacy. If you don’t know someone well but believe you’re in love, you’re likely experiencing infatuation rather than deep, meaningful love.

Love develops through shared experiences, mutual understanding, and growing emotional connection. By recognizing the signs of genuine love versus temporary attraction, you can approach your relationships with greater clarity and make more informed decisions about your emotional investments.

At ReachLink, we understand that navigating romantic feelings can be complicated. Our licensed therapists specialize in helping individuals and couples explore their emotions, build healthier relationships, and develop deeper connections. Whether you’re questioning your feelings or looking to strengthen an existing bond, professional guidance can provide valuable perspective on your unique journey.